What's Your Dogmatic Approach to Nutrition?

This question would have yielded a different answer depending on the stage of my life it was asked. In high school, Gary Taubes released “Good Calories, Bad Calories” and Atkins was all the rage, so I was vehemently against carbohydrates.

Photo by @jessicatootoo. I tried to find a diet or nutrition book, but then I remembered that I purged my collection a couple years ago. Highly recommend!

In college, this mindset continued until a guy in one of my classes, a bodybuilder, started talking to me about the need for long duration cardio sessions coupled with a low-calorie diet. Hmmm—seemed contradictory to everything I swore up and down to with my “low carb, calories don’t matter” approach. I wasn’t continuing to see results with my low carb ways though, so I took the plunge and gave it a whirl.

I proceeded to lose weight rather quickly, which of course led to a rapid rebound a few months later, but I then pledged allegiance to this approach.

After all, if it worked for me once, that means it’s universally applicable to all bodies as a long-term approach to a healthy lifestyle, right? :)

After my college graduation, I read in the popular fitness magazines that a vegetarian diet was the key to fat loss, so I adopted one for a few months while exclusively doing yoga. This was actually a very calm and healing time in my life, but I assumed that a centered, meditation-focused lifestyle had to be accompanied by meat-free meals and yoga. I lost weight over the course of a few months, so I assumed I would continue this lifestyle forever.

Upon moving to Denver, heavy drinking resurfaced in my life, and my yoga and plant-based lifestyle quickly went out to window. Plus, I just feel so much better eating meat!  Crossfit was becoming popular at the time, as was the often-accompanying Paleo diet, so I dove head first into reading about the success stories and adopted one shortly thereafter. Save for the binge drinking, of course.

High-intensity interval training coupled with a grain-free, dairy-free diet became my new bible, and I thought I had struck a gold mine. This is a diet based off the eating regiments of cavemen, so it made sense to me that our bodies would respond favorably. Suddenly, every other approach to eating seemed ludicrous.

Fast forward a few years, and there are still times when I have to consciously choose to throw these dogmatic beliefs in the garbage. And yes, many of them are contradictory, so that only adds to the confusion.

The appealing aspect of each of these dogmatic approaches to nutrition is their hardcore, black-and-white rules. They eliminate the need to think for ourselves, to tune into our own bodies, or to practice any form of awareness.

We abide by the strict lists of foods, eating times, and portion sizes, and we’re then able to turn our brains off. However, this is also the reason the wheels fall off the bus the minute we go “off plan."

Follow a dogmatic nutritional approach for any length of time greater than a few weeks, and you’ll likely forget how to work with your body when it comes to your food choices.

These approaches are sexy, as they often provide drastic before-and-after results. (Let’s not get into what those people actually look like a year after that “after” photo is taken).

Tuning into our bodies, practicing awareness, digging into the reasons why we’re reaching for food, playing the long game—these aren’t sexy. They require turning inward, a sufficient amount of trial and error, and time.

But wouldn’t it be great to only have to go through this process once, despite it requiring more time and effort upfront? To never have to settle into another camp of dogma and extremity?

If you’re answer is yes, then you can take a few action steps today towards liberating yourself:

1. Give up the desire to change your body, at least for some time. This doesn’t have to mean forever, but if you’re simultaneously trying to control your body, you’re going to have a very difficult time releasing your controlling ways around food and establishing your baseline eating framework.
2. Learn your hunger signals and begin to abide by them. This is very simple yet difficult-to-implement behavior can be a game changer for many people. Observe when you’re usually eating on this scale today and adjust your behaviors according to your satiety and hunger signals after you’ve taken the time to uncover them. It takes time to change these deeply-rooted behaviors, so be sure to show yourself plenty of patience and grace while you’re re-integrating yourself with your body.

Please note that it’s perfectly fine to overeat or eat when not hungry, the key is to engage in these behaviors consciously!

These two steps are meaty, so they often require support to continue on the path when temptation to revert back to those comfortable, dogmatic approaches surfaces.

If you find it difficult to go at this alone, I’m here for you with my one-on-one coaching, and you can email be here for more information!

My Recent Hashimoto's Diagnosis & What I've Learned Thus Far

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and this post is not a substitute for professional care. This is meant for informational purposes only. Consult with a medical professional before making any changes.  

Over the last six months, my health silently deteriorated to a point that prompted me to get a few blood tests done, and I was told shortly thereafter that I have Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid gland. While this diagnosis is very recent, I am sharing my experience in an effort to make others feel less “crazy” (as I did with all of my symptoms) and to seek medical care if any of these symptoms sounds familiar. You’ll see why as you read further.

The Beginning

Beginning in November 2017, my sleep really started to suffer, and I would wake up exhausted even after a full night’s rest. As a morning person, this was unusual for me. I was training for a Crossfit competition with some friends at the time, so I chalked it up to pushing too hard and perhaps being overly stressed. This may have been the cause, but this is the beginning of my downhill spiral.

My digestion has always been inconsistent, but it was kicked into high gear towards the end of December and has continued since then. My period disappeared shortly thereafter, and when I returned from a trip to El Salvador in February, my stomach was in a sufficient amount of pain. Again, I’m no stranger to digestive issues, but extreme bloating and pain in my upper stomach was foreign to me.

I called my GP back home, and he said I had likely contracted a parasite while traveling and prescribed me an antibiotic. Within a few days, the pain subsided.

I was hopeful after experiencing some relief from my stomach pain—I needed a health win at that point—but things continued to go downhill after that trip.

My Symptoms

• Sleep – I was unable to fall asleep, and when I did, I would be wide awake at 2-3 in the morning with a racing heart, only to fall asleep an hour or two later and wake up completely exhausted.
• Night Sweats – I experienced night sweats frequently despite sleeping in a 65-degree apartment, and I was soaked through my clothes and onto my sheets. This has since subsided in the last two weeks (win!).
• Extreme fatigue – As I noted above, I have been an energetic morning person my entire life, so wanting to crawl under my desk at 2pm was not only odd, but really uncomfortable. I had to pinch myself to stay awake during meetings and while driving, and it felt as though my eyelids were attached to weights. Not the best look at work.
• Inability to complete workouts – I’ve been doing Crossfit for almost four years; attending classes at least three times per week. While I can certainly see a connection with my performance and stressful periods in my life, I struggled to make it through one or two workouts per week. It felt as though I had 10% of the fuel in the tank that I normally did. I was eating enough and taking plenty of rest days, but my body just couldn’t do it.
• Vertigo – this was really concerning to me, and I first experienced it while driving about six weeks ago after never experiencing it previously. This continued for a few weeks and has since subsided in frequency.
• Brain Fog – This is one of the most frustrating symptoms, and I’m currently experiencing this full force. Hence the reason it’s taking me far, far too long to write this postJ I have been under-slept many times (as most people are) and have experienced slower brain-processing speed as a result, but this is different. I lose my words frequently and feel as though my brain and life are moving through mud.
• Mood changes – there is entirely too much stigma around anxiety and depression, but both of these are common with Hashimoto’s.  I have been a fairly even-keeled and calm person for most of my life, save for my low-carb dieting days (I was SO moody), but I began experiencing anxiety with my heart beating out of my chest at the most random times, and I would then feel down for hours afterwards. I also found myself to be more short-tempered, and things that typically wouldn’t bother me in the slightest were causing me to snap. These swings have lessened since I’ve made a concerted effort to stop intense exercise and meditate more, but they’re still showing up on a weekly basis.
• Inflammation – I have gained around ten pounds since February, and while I’m sure some of that is water weight due to the inflammation, the sudden changes were another sign that something wasn’t right. This was especially true after Crossfit workouts—I was unable to put pants on the next day and my joints were throbbing for days after.

I want to emphasize that these symptoms can certainly be attributable to a multitude of underlying issues, and based on what I have read thus far, everyone’s triggers for autoimmune diseases are different and multi-factorial. I would caution anyone against assuming Hashimoto’s if any of the symptoms above resonate. This was simply my experience, and the combination of them prompted concerns over the state of my health.

Essentially, I felt and continue to feel like I have a gnarly combination of a hangover and PMS all the time.

My quality of life seemed to be deteriorating by the day, and I was starting to feel like a stranger in my own body and mind. I told myself that these issues would resolve themselves and that I was likely being overly dramatic. After all, we live in an under-slept society, so everyone is tired. Who am I to think I’m special and complain?

I was discussing my concerns with my hair stylist (the keepers of all secrets), and she suggested I see a Nurse Practitioner who had recently joined the salon. She specializes in women’s hormones, was able to draw blood on the spot, and she’s relatively inexpensive. I firmly believe that knowledge is power, so I made an appointment to get a status update.

Results

As I understand it, most traditional doctors will only check TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) and perhaps T3 and T4, and after mulling over all of my labs from the last five years, I can confirm this to be true in my experience. None of them included thyroid antibodies. For some reason, this nurse checked my TSH, Free T3, Free T4, and my TPO antibodies (one of two thyroid antibodies), and my antibodies were well above the reference ranges (many consider under 35 IU/ml to be normal; mine were 485 IU/ml).

Upon hearing I had Hashimoto’s, I was simultaneously relieved (I’m not crazy!) and scared, as I didn’t know anything about it. I scheduled an appointment with a new-to-me doctor that night (I rarely go to the doctor, so I don’t have a local GP), and I began obsessively reading about Hashimoto’s in hopes of reading stories of remission.

I don’t like to be in a position where I feel helpless—in fact, I despise it. My doctor doesn’t want to put blinders on and assume the root cause of anything I’m experiencing, which I greatly appreciate, but left to my own devices, I will take action into my own hands.

This means I’ve been listening to an endless number of podcasts and reading books and blogs about others’ experiences in an effort to arm myself with information and questions for my doctor. However, this has also been a source of additional stress for me—something my body doesn’t need at the moment—so I’m making a concerted effort to take a breather right now and wait for more information.

What I’ve Learned Thus Far

• Autoimmune diseases are confusing AF, and there doesn’t appear to be a lot of conclusive evidence on how to put them into remission. What works for one person doesn’t work for another, so a sufficient amount of trial and error seems inevitable.
• I haven’t done a Crossfit workout in about three weeks, and a few of the symptoms like joint pain, waking in the middle of the night, and night sweats have greatly dissipated since then. Based on this, I’m guessing Hashimoto’s isn’t the only issue here, or perhaps the intense workouts were exacerbating the issue.
• Hashimoto’s primarily affects women, as do most autoimmune diseases.
• Most traditional doctors won’t test for thyroid antibodies unless your thyroid hormones are out of range. However, increased antibodies may eventually lead to damage of the thyroid and subsequent hypothyroidism. As such, if you don’t feel well despite normal hormone ranges, it may not be a bad idea to request the antibodies. Based on my most recent set of labs, I may have caught the progression early enough before damage has been done to my thyroid.
• The vast majority of remission stories I’ve read involved partnership with a functional/alternative medicine doctor as opposed to an endocrinologist or GP. I believe this is primarily due to the lack of evidence around appropriate treatment, so traditional doctors are less inclined to go through a process of trial and error to reduce antibodies (**note that I’m completely speculating here). I’m hoping I can leverage my traditional doctor and alternative approaches as needed, but only time will tell.
• Dietary interventions may help. Some sources say everyone with Hashimoto’s should be strictly gluten free, while others claim there is only a small percentage of people who benefit from such a change. As I noted above, everyone’s triggers and experiences with autoimmune diseases are different, so there’s not a one-size-fits-all approach. I intend to make as few lifestyle changes as possible to experience progress, but I am gluten-free for now under the direction of my doctor. I don’t want to be a hero or dogmatic unnecessarily.
• I need to be more forthcoming when it comes to advocating for my health. It’s common for healthy people to become obsessive about their health and blow things out of proportion, and oftentimes the fundamental bases like sleep, nutrition, social connection, stress, and movement still need to be addressed. I always turn to these first, but my symptoms were beginning to seem insurmountable alone, despite making changes to my lifestyle.

I feared being labeled as dramatic or a hypochondriac, so I began to doubt my experiences and plowed through as best I could. I have read many stories of women with Hashimoto’s doing the same thing, only to have seriously deteriorated health (and thyroid glands) years later. We don’t need to have it all together, all the time.

• Health issues likes this can be isolating, as they’re not readily apparent to others. I can put on a happy face, pretend like I feel like myself, and act like all is well, and I was doing this for a few months. This diagnosis has liberated me in a sense, as I can put a name to my experience, but I should have been more forthcoming about my struggles sooner. I’m fortunate to have tremendous support in family and friends, and one of my girlfriends is going through a very similar experience (we were both diagnosed within the same week), so we’re supporting eachother through the challenges.

After telling a wise friend about my disappointment with the diagnosis, she responded by telling me to feel the negativity, frustration, anger, and sadness, but that I’m not allowed to stay there. That place can’t become my new normal. Ever since that conversation, my emotions have subtly shifted towards acceptance and hope, and I intend to continue expanding upon this growth mindset.

I currently oscillate between feeling hopeless, disappointed, and overwhelmed—wondering if I’m ever going to feel like my old self physically, emotionally, and mentally again or if it’s going to get worse—and then being grateful for this experience.  I’ve known deep-down for some time that I need to slow down and stop pushing myself, and this is forcing me to do so.

I still have every intention of focusing on my health and getting back to baseline as quickly as possible, but I also know there are great lessons to be learned during these experiences.

Given the high number of women who suffer from Hashimoto’s, I’ll share my experiences here in the hopes of helping and connecting with others. I’d love to hear about your experiences too!

You Don't Have to Meal Prep

Prepping food ahead of time is a big topic in the health and fitness industry at the moment. Instagram feeds are filled with perfectly packaged Tupperware containers, and people are eager to jump on the bandwagon.

What my weekly meal prep typically looks like!

I’m currently an advocate of doing so for me, based on the reasons discussed here, but I’m very open to this changing in the future as my priorities and lifestyle morph and evolve. Meal prep is a practice that currently adds tremendous benefits to my life with very little downside.

It’s worth noting that I don’t measure, weigh, or pre-portion any of my meals. I mix and match the night before and am on my merry way.

I don’t travel often for work, I don’t have children or a family to feed, and I’m not responsible for anyone or any living creature besides myself.  Due to these factors, I have the freedom, flexibility, and time to incorporate meal prepping into my lifestyle in a stress-free manner.

What would happen if I did start traveling often for work? If I started a family? If I needed care of a family member? If my time began to be consumed by other priorities?

Then I would likely find an alternative solution that better suited my lifestyle if I felt that was appropriate. This might include enrolling in a meal delivery service (such as Trifecta or Blue Apron), leveraging healthy takeout restaurants, or outsourcing the cooking to someone else.

I would make the choice that I determine is best for my body, my lifestyle, my finances, and my priorities at that moment in time.

My wish for you is that you do the same for yourself. Meal prep shouldn’t be another item on the to-do list that you feel obligated to do out of comparison to other people. Not doing it doesn’t mean your priorities aren’t in line—it simply means your habits and choices are different than mine right now. And that’s great!

As long as you’re making choices that are in alignment with your goals and desires, then I’m happy. Eat all of your meals out, cook every meal at home, or incorporate a combination of all of these. I truly don’t care about which choice you make; I care about whether you believe it’s the right choice for you.

Whether meal prep is something you’ve been wanting to try or you’re a seasoned veteran of the process, my seasonal meal-prep guide makes the process efficient and painless.

As a heads up, it’s designed to be enjoyed in a mix-and-match or ala carte fashion to ensure sufficient variety throughout the week, and portion sizes are variable depending on your own consumption and the number of mouths you’re feeding.

You can get my latest meal prep guide in time to enjoy Spring and Summer favorites by signing up for my Newsletter here!

Hunger & Satiety - Do You Know Your Body's Signals?

One of the most challenging and elusive elements of eating “intuitively”, which I define as eating in a way that involves deep connection to and awareness of our bodies, is hunger and satiety. After dieting for years, following meal plans, over-exercising, overeating, eating due to emotions, starving, binging, etc., getting in touch with our hunger and satiety cues can seem damn near impossible.

In the beginning, it can feel quite uncomfortable, which is a common response to an increased level of awareness in any area of our lives. The blinders are off, so if we’re neglecting or acting in spite of our feelings of hunger and satiety, we’re doing so consciously. This means we have an increased level of responsibility and can no longer claim ignorance or unawareness as an excuse.

While awareness or mindfulness is a mandatory component of eating according to hunger and satiety, it can also be difficult to actually tune into what our bodies are telling us. And this is not due to lack of awareness, effort, or responsibility. Our physical cues may have simply been suppressed or neglected for so long that it can take some time for them to regulate and to be felt clearly.

Additionally, our feelings of hunger and satiety will vary from person to person and from day to day – especially for women due to our monthly fluctuations in hormones. What works for us one day may not work the next, so understanding these physical or lifestyle changes and their impacts is also important.

To begin getting in touch with our hunger and satiety cues, we need to dedicate a few weeks of effort and attention to what our bodies are telling us. Again, this is always more difficult in the beginning, but it will become automated with some time and practice.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to map out your individual responses to the seven stages of hunger and satiety. It’s very common to experience difficulty when defining physical cues in a few of the stages, as we usually haven’t practiced enough awareness, so if you draw a few blanks while completing this exercise, please be patient with yourself and understand that it’s a very common response.

The objective of completing this exercise is to 1) bring awareness to your body’s physical cues and the notion that our bodies are sending us different signals depending on the level of hunger or satiety it’s experiencing 2) enable us to identify and monitor in which stages we’re spending the most time in 3) understand how we can better navigate these various stages to ensure we don’t frequently live in one end of the spectrum or another.

The Seven Stages

The stages are defined defined, and I have included a few examples of physical sensations that may be experienced. However, please be aware that everyone’s signals will vary to some degree, so it’s important to tune into what each of these looks like for YOU.

1.     Stage One - Feeling famished and uncomfortably hungry

• Lightheaded, dizzy, seeing spots, shaky, nauseous, headache, unable to concentrate or think about anything other than food. Intense urgency to eat.

2.     Stage Two - Letting yourself go a little too long without food, to the point where your hunger feels almost unmanageable, but you’re still able to focus on other things.

• Some difficulty concentrating, intense hunger pangs, some light-headedness, mild headache. Essentially less severe signals from Stage One, so the urgency to eat isn’t as heightened.

3.     Stage Three - Feelings of comfortable and manageable hunger. 

• Stomach growling without it being a distraction, sensation of warmth and emptiness in stomach.

4.     Stage Four - Feelings of complete hunger neutrality, where you’re neither hungry nor full. This typically occurs after eating a light snack or 1-2 hours after a sufficient meal (that brings you to stage five).

• Light and energetic, stomach is neither empty nor distended, can’t feel food in stomach. Able to complete a workout comfortably and move freely in this stage. Strong mental energy.

5.     Stage Five - Being satisfied from eating, at around 80% full.  This isn’t a feeling of fullness, but rather knowing you have eaten to a point where you won’t be hungry for a few hours.  You could still eat more at this point.

• Feel comfortable and content, yet not as light as in stage four. Can feel the presence of food in stomach, maybe a slight decrease in mental energy as compared to stage four. Can go for a light walk with ease.

6.     Stage Six - Having eaten slightly beyond the point of satisfaction.  This is a feeling of being full and realizing you have overeaten, but there isn’t any severe pain or discomfort present.

• Stomach slightly distended or bloated with feelings of pressure, decrease in energy, heartburn, lack of desire to be active. Not very comfortable but also not in pain.

7.     Stage Seven - Eating to the point of pure discomfort and maybe pain.  This is often classified as a binge.

• Throbbing in stomach, distended stomach, intense pressure, discomfort with moving, difficulty breathing. Feelings can be alleviated by lying on back or side. Extreme lethargy.

In order to become clear on what your physical cues are in each stage, I recommend journaling throughout the day for 7-10 days to take note of your experiences. Stages one and seven may be far and few between, so referencing memories is often the best route for those.

Ideally, the goal is to stay within stages three and five, as we want to avoid extremes and the likelihood of sending our bodies into a form of distress. However, this isn’t intended to trigger feelings of guilt or shame, especially if you find yourself in stages six or seven. Rather, it’s intended to help you understand your body, its signals, how you currently respond, and how you can respond differently in the future if you choose to do so.

Why is it important to understand our physical hunger and satiety cues?

• We can recognize and acknowledge when we’re truly hungry and when we eating out of boredom, convenience, or emotion.
• We can recognize when we’re eating beyond the point of satisfaction (stage 5) and better understand what is driving us to do so.
• We will better understand what meal sizes, food types, food quality, and timing provides the greatest amount of satiety and its duration.
• We will know what signals to look for that notify us that we’re going too far in either direction.
• We will continue to develop a synergistic relationship with our bodies, as it becomes more difficult to ignore the signals as this practice develops.

Understanding our hunger and satiety signals is a fundamental and extremely important part of developing an intuitive relationship with our bodies. Without it, we will continue to feel as though we’re at war with our body, that it’s an entity separate from us, and that it isn’t our responsibility to honor its voice.

It’s important to note that while I believe in honoring our hunger and satiety signals most of the time, there are instances where this won’t be the case, but these will ideally occur with a high level of consciousness and awareness. You may need to override hunger or satiety signals in the beginning if you’ve been chronically undereating for a while, but I typically recommend eating more calorically dense foods with the same volume when this is the case.

Alternatively, there are times when we’re going to choose to eat beyond stage five and will find ourselves in stages six and seven, and that’s fine! We just don’t want it to be a mindless habit, as that’s a form of disrespect and disconnection from our bodies.

Finally, as is usually the case around here, mindfulness is an essential part of the process. In order to tune into what our bodies are telling us, as opposed to leveraging the experiences and signals of others, we need to slow down, get silent, and become familiar with our physical bodies. This can be accomplished through mindful, slow movement, such as yoga, dance, or walking, or it can be accomplished through stillness, such as meditation.

This process may be a bumpy one in the beginning, and this is especially true if we’ve been neglecting our body’s signals in an extreme manner for many years. Emotions surface – don’t avoid them. Sit with them, observe them, and get curious rather than judgmental. You may be coming home after a long period of distance and neglect, so forgiveness and patience are paramount.

We're All in This Together, so Let's Leave the Judgment Behind

Those with a healthy body image, (i.e. those who don’t define their worth by their appearance and therefore don’t view food as the gateway to their self-worth) can approach diets and nutrition from a scientific and data-driven perspective without losing their shit. They look at their choices objectively.

Me and one of my best friends - supporting as all hell of eachother's successes and struggles alike.

Those of us who struggle or who have struggled to separate our worth from our appearance usually have an emotional attachment to our food choices.

For example, I started losing weight in high school after receiving a comment about eating too much and gaining a few pounds during puberty, and I subsequently believed there was something wrong with my body and therefore me as a person.

Food and my diet became the gateway to my self-worth from that day forward, leading to a decade-long a love/hate relationship with food.

As I began to take the focus off of my appearance and instead directed my energy towards who I was as a person for myself and others, what I could contribute to the world, and spent time on things that lit me up, I began to view food differently. It ceased to carry the weight of defining me as a person.

Today, as the result of unraveling the connection of my self-worth to my appearance and my food choices, I’m able to make adjustments to my intake as a means of experimentation while being mindful of detaching my worth from the outcome.

If I want to gain some muscle, I look at food as a source of added fuel. If I want to lose some fat, I ensure I’m filling up on lots of vegetables and become mindful of my snacking. If I don’t have any goals and simply want to spend more free time socializing without much structure, then I tend to eat more food and imbibe more often.  And the number on the scale is just that: a number.

Jessie 5-7 years ago would have lost her damn mind making the choices above. They would have been wrought with anxiety, anger, confusion, and desperation.  Jessie today makes these choices with a sense of ease, calm, empowerment, and detachment.

My self-worth is no longer attached to the outcome of my food choices.

I’ve been in both camps throughout my journey with food and my body, in addition to somewhere in the middle as I healed:

Neurotic and obsessive

Detached and objective in relation to the outcome

We all reside in different stages along the food and body obsession spectrum, and none of our stories or journeys look the same.  Would it be easy for me to look back at the former version of myself and judge her for her neurosis? Yes, absolutely. But there’s nothing superior about the detached and objective mindset I currently maintain.

I worked hard to get here, but I have the utmost understanding and empathy for that former version of myself.

The Judgment

Judging the former versions of ourselves, or women currently in that stage of their journey, is a projection of our own insecurities. Our own self-judgment. Our own wounds we have yet to heal.

As we progress along our journeys of healing our relationships with food and our bodies, it’s easy to analyze and judge the choices of other women. We project our struggles, we project our insecurities, we project our shame. And we assume other women have the same story we do.

“She has to have an eating disorder if she’s that lean.”

“If she’s avoiding alcohol, she clearly has a neurotic relationship with her body.”

“She works out so often – she must be suffering from an obsession.”

“She claims she has food intolerances? That’s a red flag for disordered eating.”

These comments are a projection of our former (or current) selves onto other women. Women we likely know nothing about, and we certainly don’t know the intricacies of their relationships to food and their bodies today. 

Women who live according to the statements above may make those choices from an objective, detached perspective.  With a firm and stable sense of self-worth despite the outcome of those choices.  With a strong sense of self-respect.

Alternatively, women who living according to those statements may, in-fact, be struggling with their food and body obsessions. They may be suffering on a deep level internally, despite the appearance of their outer shell.

Regardless of the current status of their journeys, our role isn’t to judge, to project, or to isolate. Our role is support one another, to empathize with the experience of being a woman in today’s superficial and judgmental society, and to focus on our own shit.

When we feel compelled to judge another woman for her choices, let us first turn inward and ask ourselves what we’re missing.

Do I want that lean body I’m talking shit about?

Am I still struggling to separate my self-worth from my appearance?

Do I envy the discipline that woman is emulating? 

Am I subscribing to a zero-sum mentality, where I believe her beauty detracts from my own?

What part of me is still calling for healing?

We judge others when we’re still judging ourselves, and despite the urge to project our wounds outwardly, the need to separate ourselves from other women won’t cease until we’ve truly reconciled our own internal battles.

That woman we feel tempted to judge may have fought her way through the trenches of food and body obsession and is now able to make choices from a place of peace, intuition, and self-respect.

That woman may also need our empathy, support, and love more than ever as she fights her internal battles.

Our role is to mind our own side of the street, to take inventory of our own internal battles, and to offer love and support to our fellow women while we do the same for ourselves.

Our stories don’t look the same, and we’re all in this together. So let’s leave the judgment behind.

Beneath the Surface - What's Really Causing Your Food & Body Obsession?

I very much believe that a solid and intuitive relationship with food requires a two-pronged approach of 1) a mostly whole foods diet that can benefit from specific macronutrient changes when based on our activity, hormones, genetics, etc. (i.e. the tactical approaches) and 2) an intuitive and mindful relationship with food and our bodies that is rooted in self-respect.

I discussed one of the tactical nutritional approaches, low carb, that really grinds my gears in recent blog posts (here and here), but there is SO MUCH MORE to the story. Those changes can be profound, yes, but unless our internal landscape is receiving just as much focus and attention, we won’t feel differently on a deeper level. Which is what we’re really seeking once we peel back the layers.

In fact, many women find that they don’t need to change anything about their diets or bodies at all – the internal work is what’s been calling for their attention.

Our often-tumultuous relationships with food and our bodies can be rooted in a myriad of past and present traumas, stressors, and/or projections. Some examples include the need to exercise control, low self-esteem or perceived lack of worthiness, past or current trauma or abuse (physical and/or emotional), a lack of presence in life, a disconnection to our physical bodies, and a lack of connection to others. 

What do all of these have in common?

They’re internal. And rather than address the root cause of our disordered and unhealthy relationships with food and our bodies, we resort to food as a means of distraction. It’s our magic pill for instant relief from what’s really calling for our attention, usually by way of over or undereating or a similar relationship with exercise.

This often occurs without us being aware of the connection. When my obsessions with food and my body began at the age of sixteen, I had no idea that I was using them as a coping mechanism for feeling self-conscious and unworthy. 

It takes effort to hone in on the root cause of our pain and discomfort – it requires space and reflection, and this can be incredibly uncomfortable in the beginning. Our brains often default to the easy route of deflection.

Overtime, however, we can learn to use the arrival of these thought patterns to our benefit.

When I find myself starting to critique my body or obsess over my food, it’s a clear sign that something is calling for my attention internally.

What am I ignoring?

What am I failing to acknowledge and feel?

Do I simply need to slow down and spend more time connecting with myself and the present?

Do I need to confront issues in a relationship?

Do I need more time in nature?

Am I surrounding myself with people who aren’t supportive and growth-minded?

Once we dig into the answers to these questions, it becomes clear that our food and bodies aren’t the issues. They never have been.

For example, if we’ve gained weight throughout our lives due to being disconnected from our bodies and subsequently eating as an emotional coping mechanism, the food wasn’t the issue. Neglecting the emotional turmoil, failing to connect to the present and our bodies, and masking our pain or discomfort was.

How do we identify what is really calling for our attention?

1. Slow Down & Get Grounded in the Present – mindfulness is a non-negotiable here. Before we can identify patterns, we need to find a way to connect with ourselves internally, in addition to our bodies and the physical world around us. Meditation is a great way to do this, but getting outside in nature or even spending some time in silence and solitude can be powerful.
2. Journal – We need to take an objective view of what’s going on inside our minds, so start by writing the details of the occurrences of overeating, undereating, obsessing over macros or calories, critiquing your body, or even criticizing the bodies of others. Get as granular as possible, even if you believe the thoughts to be completely unrelated.
3. Connect the Dots – Are you having relationship struggles? Do you hate your job or chosen career? Do you feel neglected or unworthy in a particular relationship? Are you moving through life too quickly? Are you failing to speak your authentic truth? These are just a few examples, but chances are that you’ll find a projection of turmoil, confusion, or neglect in other areas of life onto food and/or your body.

This work takes time and dedication, and I believe it to be lifelong work. We never cease to be challenged in life, and our initial, default reaction may always be to revert to obsession over food and our bodies when our internal landscape is out of alignment.

These thought patterns are often my default reaction, and rather than view them through a lens of disdain and resentment, I choose gratitude.

I’ve become so familiar with these thought patterns that when I identify and observe them, I quickly know that I have some work to do internally. I then follow the steps outlined above.

While this work can be challenging and uncomfortable, especially in the beginning, remember that deflection and avoidance are characteristic of the easy route – a path that allows the initial wound to fester and expand.

Truly looking beneath the surface to the core of our wounds is the work of the warrior. It’s scary shit, and it certainly isn’t easy. But it’s absolutely necessary for change.

What’s bubbling up beneath the surface and calling for your attention?

How to Increase Your Carb Intake & Address Your Fears

Be sure to check out Part I where I discuss some of the signs of a diet too low in carbohydrates and why they’re important.

This can be a touchy subject for some, so if the topic of weight loss or manipulating your diet is triggering in any way, then I don’t recommend reading the rest of this.

Please note that there is nothing wrong with eating in a caloric surplus, and it was completely fine for me at the time and can be necessary for some people when healing their bodies. Reducing my obsession with food and my fear of carbohydrates was more important to me than gaining some weight, so the tradeoff was certainly worth it, as it often is for many others.  

However, gaining weight doesn’t have to occur as part of the process (although it still may), and if I can alleviate some of that fear for women in order to get them to increase their carbohydrate intake, then I will via the information here.

As I noted in Part I of this series, I learned that calories are king when it comes to fat loss. I gained fat when I increased my carbohydrate intake due to an overall increase in calories, not the increase of carbohydrates. I was eating a sufficient amount of overall food before this increase, so when I added the carbohydrates without reducing the quantity of food elsewhere, I was then eating in a caloric surplus. In simplistic terms, I was eating a diet of moderate protein, moderate carbohydrates, and high fat.

I had subscribed to a high-fat, low-carb diet for almost a decade, so I didn’t have a barometer for a moderate or low amount of fat in my diet. It was a macronutrient I didn’t think about previously, as I was under the impression that carbohydrates were the magical ticket to fat loss or fat gain and that dietary fat could be consumed with abandon.

I knew fat has 9 calories per gram and both protein and carbs have 4 calories per gram, but I was still resistant to the validity of calories in vs. calories out determining changes in body composition. As a result, I was still consuming quite a bit of fat in addition to the carbohydrates.

There is nothing inherently wrong with a diet that consists of high amounts of both fat and carbohydrates, as everyone’s bodies, lifestyles, and goals are different. However, the amount of fat I was consuming wasn’t necessary for the function of my body. Additionally, a diet high in fat often leads to consuming a large number of calories with a low volume of food.

Changes to Fat Consumption

I decided to experiment with decreasing my dietary fat intake after I had increased my carb intake to a sufficient and healthy amount, my body had become relatively weight stable, and my bodily functions were positively consistent (i.e. consistent period, sleeping well, stable digestion, performing well in the gym).

I struggled with making these changes during the first few weeks, as I naturally gravitated towards high-fat foods after eating in this manner for years.  This is extremely common, as we often gravitate towards choices that are habitual and comfortable. However, after doing some research and practicing some awareness, I was able to find my groove with leaner cuts of meat and little to no additional fat intake.

Results of Consuming Less Fat

I learned that I felt less “sluggish” with the decreased fat intake, that the amount I had been consuming previously wasn’t necessary to the overall satisfaction I experienced from meals, and that I didn’t actually enjoy the additional fats I was consuming on a regular basis.

The butter in my coffee? Didn’t miss it, and I didn’t really enjoy it in the first place. The avocado with every meal? Not necessary for me to feel satisfied. Leaner cuts of meat? Not a problem, as fats are used when cooking all components of my meals (i.e. oil or butter being used when cooking vegetables, potatoes, meats, etc.).

However, I did realize that I need some level of fat in every meal in order to feel satisfied and energized. Meals that contain essentially no fat don’t lead to sufficient enjoyment of my meals, and I learned this through experimentation.  This means that a meal of chicken breast needs to include a slice of bacon, sprinkle of cheese, or vegetables cooked in more fat.

I often find the results above to ring true with my clients as well. It’s easy to become so indoctrinated into a way of eating that we don’t pause to consider whether or not we should be open to alternatives. Or that we may feel better and experience more enjoyment from a different approach.

This often translates into clients realizing that they don’t need as much fat in their meals as they thought, especially with the addition of the carbohydrates.

Ways to Experiment

Today, when clients are consuming a high-fat, low-carb diet and they’re already consuming an adequate number of calories, we start with the following (please note that there is certainly nuance to each individual’s circumstances and goals, so these are not hard and fast recommendations).

• Assess their activity level and preferred type of activity – those who partake in high-intensity exercise usually require more carbohydrates, in addition to those who strength train or do weightlifting. Examples of high intensity exercise include Crossfit, Orange Theory, and sprints.

o   Those who partake in long endurance sports, such as running for more than one hour, will often benefit from an increased carbohydrate intake too.

o   Activities like yoga and leisurely walking don’t require much glycogen, so we can get away with fewer carbs.

• Slowly decrease fat intake (if desired) – this might include leaving off the extra fried egg, not adding the avocado, less cheese, less dressing or one with less oil, leaner cuts of meat, or PB2 instead of peanut butter.
• Slowly increase carbohydrate intake – I usually recommend starting with one meal a day due to the fear that often coincides with this, and if you prefer a portion guideline, you can use one cupped handful per meal to start.
• Consume protein in most meals – this is especially true if you’re active. This doesn’t have to be an animal source, but protein should be a component (preferably a main one) of most meals. This contributes to increased satiety and enhanced recovery.
• Assess short-term results and adjust as needed – Start with one change at a time, journal and monitor the results (physical and emotional), and adjust as needed. This might include keeping additional fats in one meal but removing them from the rest or adding an additional serving of carbs to each meal. Everyone is different, hence the reason personalized coaching can be so helpful.
• Assess long-term results – It takes time for our bodies to adjust when making diet changes, so please don’t be alarmed if it takes a few weeks for your digestion to begin functioning optimally.  Hormone changes, specifically the regulation of menstrual cycles, can take several months.  However, changes to sleep, mood, recovery, and athletic performance should occur rather quickly.

There is always nuance in diets and recommendations, so I can’t make specific recommendations for every situation in this post, but this is a general starting point for most people. Experimentation and adjusting based on results is an absolutely necessary part of the process, so don’t expect to nail down the optimal consumption of carbs, fats, and proteins right away.

How does this differ from obsessively tracking foods?  The goal and intent behind making and monitoring these changes is entirely different. We’re assessing our current nutritional choices in an effort to FEEL better, to provide our bodies with adequate and appropriate fuel, and to unlearn the multitude of rules we learned along the dieting road. NOT to exercise control or distract ourselves from uncomfortable emotions and situations.

We should view this as an opportunity to become more in sync with our bodies and to learn about their specific needs.

If this sounds too complicated, too obsessive, or like it requires too much brain power, especially if you’re in a place of wanting to free yourself from food obsession, then please don’t feel like this is a requirement right now. Our journeys to food and body freedom take time. All changes don’t need to occur within a condensed timeframe, and they certainly don’t need to occur simultaneously.

Unlearning all of the diet rules we’ve internalized is a process, and it requires a sufficient amount of mental energy and awareness in the beginning. However, after the initial “relearning” of what our bodies need, we’ll be more in sync than ever before, not to mention better equipped to respond to changes in the future. And we’ll be enjoying a hell of a lot more carbs tooJ