Do you only allow yourself to pee at specific times?

Or take a 💩 according to your clock?

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I would assume (and hope) not!

Yet, we do this with another one of our basic physical needs all the time—eating.

  • Forcing down food according to meals plans and tracking apps.

  • Forcing our bodies to endure extreme hunger until it’s “time” to eat again.

  • Forcing our bodies to go to attempt to sleep while hungry, simply because our allotment for the day is up and it’s “past 8pm”.

We’ve managed to fuck up one of the most basic instincts we have as human beings!

It’s really not your fault though, as the vast majority of us were programmed to micromanage our food intake, appetites, and pleasure from a young age.

We watched older women complain about their bodies and restrict as a result.

We observed as others hopped from diet to diet, proclaiming foods as good and bad, right and wrong.

We were bombarded by magazines and latest celebrity diets as they dictated how often we should eat (is it six meals per day or should I intermittent fast?)

Oftentimes, we believe the path to freedom and healing from food obsession & disordered eating is to apply even more rules.

In most cases, it’s not. Far from it!

The answer is to get back to basics.

  • To focus on recognizing those old thought patterns as they come and go while consciously choosing to rely on your body’s instincts instead (meditation for the win).

  • To get back in touch with your own body’s hunger & fullness cues.

  • To eat foods that make your body & mind feel alive, while also adding in foods that make your soul happy.

  • To ensure you’re taking care of your mental & emotional well-being just as much as your physical.

When we break it down, it’s much more simple than we make it out to be.

We simply need to get out of our body’s way❤️

Feel Like You're Wrong with Any Move You Make with Food & Your Body?

Girl, I feel you!

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The health & wellness industry has always been divisive, but it feels particularly edgy at the moment.

Women feel so conflicted, confused, and many are experiencing a lot of SHAME over any desires they have for themselves.

  • Eating donuts? That’s unhealthy, shame.

  • Eating salads? That’s restrictive, shame.

  • Wanting to gain muscle? That’s not “feminine”, shame.

  • Wanting to lose weight? You must not love yourself, shame.

I’m all for having differing opinions, but shaming over how someone treats their OWN body is taking it too far.

As per usual, we’re losing sight of what really matters & are tossing nuance out the window.

The ultimate goal for my clients is for them to really give AF about how they’re treating themselves (in order)…

  1. Internally—relationship with food, internal chatter & mental health.

  2. Physically—making choices in alignment with high self-worth & self-respect, whatever that looks like.

  3. Other goals—aesthetic or performance.

If someone has the first two down pat, then by all means, proceed with the third!

The problem arises when we place the third above the other two, and that’s EXACTLY where most of my clients are.

Caring more about the way their body looks to others than how they’re treating themselves—mind, body, soul.

I used to be there too! And it’s a problem.

The issue isn’t the desire to lose weight, it’s the intention behind it. It’s placing it higher than your mental and physical well-being. It’s believing your happiness & self-worth lies on the other side.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

That’s an inside job, sisters.

Do the work of up-leveling your sense of self-worth and treating yourself accordingly FIRST, and the rest falls into place.

So You Overdid it This Weekend? This Is What You Should Do!

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So you overdid it with food or booze & feel like shit?

Your mind might be swirling with thoughts of guilt, shame, and how you’re going to undo the damage.

That’s coming from a place of pure FEAR.

And low self-worth!

Instead of shaming yourself into change and feeling better, let’s flip the script!

Ask yourself:

✨“How can I support myself—mind, body, soul—in this moment?”✨

That might look like:

  • Eating foods that are nourishing and easy to digest when you feel physical hunger.

  • Engaging in light activity to get your body moving.

  • Drinking water and replenishing electrolytes (NUUN tablets are a fave of mine!)

  • Deep breathing or meditation to calm your nervous system (especially true after drinking alcohol).

  • Writing down everything your body is doing to support YOU in this moment. It’s likely working on overdrive, so it deserves serious kudos!

  • Engaging in self-care activities, like creative pursuits or time with loved ones.

See the difference?

Choices rooted in respecting & supporting yourself will create a positive feedback loop—leading to better decisions in the future.

Not to mention, the process is a hell of a lot more enjoyable when you actually act like you give a damn about yourself along the way!

What are you doing to support yourself today?

One HUGE Mistake You're Making on Your Journey with Food

It kept me holding on to physical and emotional weight for years.

Prioritizing aesthetic #bodygoals over my mental well-being.

Me out there focusing on my mental/soul well-being!

Me out there focusing on my mental/soul well-being!

From the outside, I was eating the vegetables and the lean proteins while working out seven days per week for months.

I’d then have huge nights out drinking, binge on the foods I wasn’t allowing myself to have, and would restrict heavily throughout the week to compensate.

Some viewed me as balanced due to my propensity to drink a lot and eat loads of veggies simultaneously, but I was a HOT MESS internally!

As I began to pay more attention to the women around me who were also binge drinking—yet maintaining six packs—I realized that they were hot messes too.

They were starving themselves to fit the mold.

We were all trapped in a war inside of our own heads, regardless of how we appeared externally.

Pretty grim, no?

I firmly believe we don’t have a food problem as a society.

We have a self-worth problem.

Chasing body goals to find it, or using food to fill the void. The pursuit is just the same!

The antidote?

  1. Get to know yourself! So many of my clients come to me terrified to do introspective work, simply because they don’t know anything about themselves. Meditation and journaling is a great place to start!

  2. See what’s out of alignment in your life. Relationships, where you live, career, lack of creative pursuits, etc. Get curious about what you’re really hungry for!

  3. Fill your life up with shit that’s actually MEANINGFUL to you! Sure, nights out at bars can be fun, but are they really adding value when everything else feels empty?

I know it’s tempting to achieve your aesthetic goals first and THEN work on your internal landscape, but I’m guessing that approach hasn’t worked for you thus far.

What if—instead—you decided to nurture your soul & physical body FIRST and see how far that gets you?

I promise, your body wants you to thrive❤️

What my stressed-out, puffy, & incredibly uncomfortable body has taught me

Stressed and bloated AF four weeks ago—> me today!

Stressed and bloated AF four weeks ago—> me today!

I shared a picture a few weeks ago that depicted the severe bloating I was dealing with 24/7. That was just the tip of the iceberg!

Truly—my belly was distended almost every hour of every day, my sleep was awful, my period went missing, my anxiety was increasing, and I was gaining weight.

Did my body do anything wrong?

Not at all! I simply missed the signs.

I lost touch with what was “normal”, because I was basing a “normal” lifestyle on what everyone else does.

Husting, always feeling the need to produce, equating rest with laziness, and comparing my work ethic to others’. Essentially, it was another form of placing my self-worth outside of myself. AGAIN.

Years ago, my entire identity was wrapped up in my perfectly healthy diet. I was the “healthy girl”, and it was expected that I show up as my overly nice, veggie-obsessed, never-miss-a-workout self.  

I felt such a deeply rooted need to fit into the category of perfection in some capacity.

 Of course, I never found the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.

Not only were most of my attempts futile, but when I did manage to get achieve what I considered “perfection”, the bar was raised and I was off to the races again.

I had to face the fact that I was never going to win the battle against food.

I was never going to win the battle against my body. 

However, I failed to recognize that—while I had healed my relationship with food—my self-worth was still being formed outside of myself. Outside of my internal home. (Which, for the record, is the ONLY safe and true place to build it, imo.)

It was placed in my ability to produce and my work ethic.

“Hot damn, how did I miss this?”, I wondered.

Because it’s normalized! In the same way we see airbrushed pictures of bodies 99.99% of us will never have, we see the “hustle” glamorized EVERYWHERE.

And we begin to think that we need to fall in line, otherwise WE are the problem. We are the weak ones.

We’re not, and while we can sit here and blame society and our culture all we want, the reality is that we have a responsibility to:

  • show up for ourselves.

  • make the difficult decisions.

  • challenge what “everyone else is doing”.

  • ask ourselves why the hell we’re doing it all in the first place.

I share this with you for a couple of reasons:

🤷🏻‍♀️I’m not perfect in any way, shape, or form. I still uncover unwanted stories and narratives all the damn time, so if you find yourself here, you’re far from alone!

🥰Healing our relationship with food opens up SO many more opportunities and avenues for growth, and it’s absolutely essential to your freedom. However, the work rarely stops there. So—fall in love with the processJ

🔥The tools I learned (and teach to my clients) to heal my relationship with food have served me incredibly well in this chapter of my journey. This would have sent me into an epic spiral of shame and self-loathing years ago!

💃I’m committed to doing the hard work of defining myself by who I am internally, and I want you to know that it’s HARD FUCKING WORK. However, I believe it’s the most impactful and meaningful gift we can ever give to ourselves.

🧚‍♀️The more time we can spend exploring and loving our souls over our bodies, work ethic, relationship status, Instagram following, or workout regimen, the better off we’ll be.

❤️We’re all in this human experience together. 

FEAR - How It's Preventing You From Changing Your Food Habits & How to Change Your Relationship With It

Fear is a tricky S.O.B. isn’t it?

You may have heard that FEAR stands for “false evidence appearing real”. Most of the time, this is absolutely the case!

Note: fear is not to be confused with danger, which is valid (e.g. you’re being attacked).

Our reptilian or monkey brains are wired in such a way that they find fear in unwarranted situations in an effort to protect us.

They’re doing it from a place of protection! Isn’t that sweet?

(Slightly sarcastic, but also genuine).

With this in mind, we can view our fear-based thoughts through a lens of gratitude and compassion, as they’re only trying to protect us. As a species, we wouldn’t be where we are today without them.

However, we need to use discernment with these thoughts.

We need to take a step back and detach from them, observe them through a neutral lens, and ask ourselves what they’re trying to show us.

For example, many of my clients are met with fear-based thoughts when they decide to put in the work to transform their relationship with food and their body. 

“I’m just going to blow up, and my body is going to betray me.”

“It’s not safe to relinquish control and stop tracking my food, because I’ll be out of control.”

“It’s not clicking quickly enough. My body isn’t changing. I knew this wouldn’t work for me.”

“I need to see changes RIGHT NOW! My body can’t be trusted, so I can’t stop trying to actively manipulate my body.”

These are very common fears, and they’re absolutely understandable. You’ve likely been led to believe that

  • your body doesn’t hold any innate wisdom.

  • without tracking and restricting, your body will betray you.

  • without constantly hustling for perfection and trying to manipulate your body, you’re a failure.

  • change has to be drastic and immediate! That you need to see physical changes right now.

These fears were given to us, and if we follow the breadcrumbs, these fears are very often rooted in the false belief that without that “body” and perfect food regimen, we’re not good enough.

We have a primal desire to feel a sense of belonging, so our brains are trying to do us a solid by presenting us with these fear-based thoughts. They’re trying to help!

However, that fundamental belief isn’t true (even if you can’t fully embrace that today).

So, what is the antidote?

1.     In the long-term, work on changing that core belief of you not being good enough without perfection with eating habits or your body. Where did it come from? Who gave it to you? Do you apply that logic to your loved ones? Or the child version of yourself? Start there, and journal your big heart out on repeat! 

2.     In the short-term, meet those fear-based thoughts with a sense of curiosity! Ask them, “What are you trying to protect me from right now?” Acknowledge them, thank them for trying to protect you, and give them space to come and go.

Your rational brain and your body can then be used to arrive at the next conscious decision for you, and fear will no longer be in the driver’s seat!

Change is uncomfortable, without a doubt. Our monkey brains (ego) will come up with a million reasons why it isn’t safe to take a different approach with food and our bodies.

Our job isn’t to control those thoughts, but rather to manage our relationships with them.

Tell them hi, thank them for their presence, and then take the empowered action the highest version of you really wants to take! That’s the only way to grow into the next (intuitive & empowered) version of you, after all💃

4 Steps to Keeping "Trigger" Foods in the House (& eventually forgetting they're there)

I eat ALL the things, and I do so regularly within my own home and without stress!

I eat ALL the things, and I do so regularly within my own home and without stress!

I keep my favorite (former “trigger”) foods in the house at all times, and I experience ZERO self-doubt or anxiety with this. I no longer say to myself:

I can’t have that in the house, otherwise I’ll eat it all.

I have to throw the rest of that away, or I’ll inhale it all.

I don’t have any self-control around XYZ food.

I’m an all-or-nothing person when it comes to food.

I’m just an abstainer, so I can’t have those foods around.

However, I used to say and vehemently believe every single one of those!

I believed I was destined to live a life of mistrust with food.

Any delicious processed foods, including ice cream, cookies, peanut butter, tortilla chips, you name it. I really don’t discriminate, and I used to live in fear of ALL of them. Truly.

I believed that I just didn’t come with the genetic programming that allowed me to eat these foods consciously and in moderation.

“How can those women just not finish the whole thing? And not even think about it?”

That kind of life and interaction with food felt impossibly out of reach.

As per usual, that was a lovely little story I acquired somewhere along the way of my journey (i.e. life), and from where I was standing, it wasn’t malleable. That narrative was solidified.

Thankfully, as I continued to practice meditation and mindfulness consistently, my awareness of these thought patterns and false identities came to light.

I thought to myself:

“Maybe these are just narratives that are convenient for me. Perhaps they’re enabling me to stay stuck, whether I want to be or not. Is it possible that these aren’t true?”

I challenged the assumptions about myself and my relationship to these foods, and that sliver of doubt of the validity of those stories was all I needed to jumpstart this reformation.

That sliver was the gateway to a whole new realm of possibilities for me and my food stories, and while uncomfortable at first, it quickly became liberating AF! 

With freedom comes responsibility, however. We’re forced to take responsibility for our attitudes and actions. Playing the victim just doesn’t jive with food freedom, so accept that now, and the process will be MUCH easier. And a hell of a lot more fun!

So, how did I go from: 

living in complete fear of the most delicious foods and banning them from my house

to 

welcoming any and all foods into my house and onto the table while being able to have one bite, three bites, the whole thing, or none at all? Or even forget I have them in the first place? 

Four Steps to Keeping Trigger Foods in the House (and eventually forgetting you have them)

1.     Be open to the possibility that all the stories you’ve told yourself about your ability to trust yourself around food are false. This might shatter your identity of “abstainer”, or any other label you’ve given yourself. All we need is an open mind right now. It’s OK to still be somewhat skeptical!

2.     Get rid of “good” and “bad” food labels. Unless you truly need to avoid particular food (s) for health reasons, tell yourself it’s OK to eat it. Hell, I even eat the foods I have intolerances to when I choose, and I’m still alive! Neutralizing foods is KEY to being able to have them around you at any time, in any quantity.

Think of it this way: some foods are more calorically dense, or nutrient dense, or calorically light, or nutrient light. Sure, they have different effects on the body, and some can be considered more physically healthy, but that’s meaningless if we don’t have a mentally or emotionally healthy relationship with food. Some feed our physical health; some feed our souls.

3.     Exposure therapy: start adding these “trigger” foods into your routine on a REGULAR basis, starting with small amounts, building trust, and then adding more. Let’s use dessert as an example, as this is a common one amongst clients.

Start by ordering dessert whenever you’re at a restaurant. Consciously decide beforehand that you’re only going to have 1-3 bites, and you can even tell the company you’re with that this is your plan. DO THIS CONSISTENTLY!

You’ll feel uncomfortable in the beginning—100%. You’re rewiring your habit loops, so you’re going to be met with internal resistance, but I promise it gets easier! This proves to your brain that you can—in fact—eat a few bites. 

Once you’re comfortable with that, bring single servings into your home. It’s common for eating habits to shift once we’re in the comfort of our own homes, so this may present a new wave of discomfort. Again, you’re teaching your brain new ways of interacting with these foods, so there will be resistance in the beginning! Commit to a few bites daily.

Once consistently comfortable with this, then bring multiple servings into your home (i.e. an entire batch of brownies, the whole jar of PB, the bag of chips). The work here is to continue to have only a few bites at a time.

By slowly exposing yourself to these foods over time, you’re rewiring the habit loops in your brain, and you’re witnessing yourself develop trust around these foods.

Eventually, you’ll find yourself able to just a few bites, the whole serving, or none at all without batting an eye!

4.     Consider integrating these foods into your diet MORE often. Say what? Yes, by continuing to proactively include small amounts of these foods on a regular basis, you won’t ever feel like you’re “missing out” on anything, you’ll continue to remain satisfied, and you’ll consistently reinforce trust around these foods!  

I have found that this isn’t a requirement for everyone, but it can be really helpful if you’re starting to feel less than satisfied with your meals day-to-day, which may eventually lead to a binge. Add in more pleasurable foods, and continue to work that trust muscle while you’re at it :)

Avoidance of certain foods might seem like the best approach in the short-term—out of sight, out of mind. However, this approach leaves us completely powerless when we’re eventually exposed to these foods, as we haven’t developed the SKILL of moderation after years of all-or-nothing.

We don’t come out of the womb with extreme attitudes or relationships with food. These are learned over time, and without awareness, they can easily become part of our identities.

Just as they were learned, they can be unlearned!

The solution is to unlearn those stories and habits, and we do this SLOWLY over time with a multi-pronged approach of tackling mindset and action.