Why Making Changes with Your Food Behaviors is SO. DAMN. DIFFICULT!

Human behavior isn’t compartmentalized.

That’s right.

The old adage of,

“How you do one thing is how you do everything.”,

really is true!

Especially when it comes to how you interact with food.

Some common examples:

• The woman who lacks boundaries & is afraid to use her voice allows others to dictate her food choices. This means listening to others (diets, “gurus”, doctors, family, etc.) over her own body & preferences. She likely uses food to numb/soothe too!

• The woman who needs to be liked by others & changes based on her surroundings eats & drinks what everyone else is eating & drinking.

• The woman who’s afraid to step outside of the box with how she lives her life (can’t stray from the predetermined plan!) is sticking to the foods & routines she knows & is comfortable with.

• The woman who believes she & her life are for others—not herself—is going to succumb to societal norms with food & body. Pleasing others is more important than being true to herself.

• The woman whose energy is scattered, is moving at 100 mph, and is constantly seeking the next thrill eats quickly & without presence. 

• The woman who is afraid of experiencing pleasure makes food choices that are often quite boring! She’s fearful of her own enjoyment.

There are endless possibilities here, but you can see that your relationship with food is a mirror for your relationship with SO MANY other facets of life!

Most importantly, your relationship with yourself.

Instead of *just* looking at food, how can you start to make adjustments with how you’re showing up in LIFE?

At first glance, this might seem like a much bigger mountain to climb, but it isn’t!

In fact, if you start focusing on your foundation (belief systems, relationship with self, relationship with life) rather than the surface, not only will the changes actually last, but they’ll be much easier to come by.

For today, just start with awareness. Start drawing those parallels between how you interact with food and the other areas of your life!

My Response to People Saying That More Freedom with Food Leads to Eating Donuts & Watching Netflix All Day

There's a common narrative today when it comes to a more "intuitive" way of eating (although I don't subscribe to "intuitive eating" in the way many do).

It usually goes something like this:

"Well, my intuition tells me to eat donuts and pizza and watch netflix every day, and it's what led me to gain weight in the first place."

I'm calling bullshit.

This way of thinking is just plain lazy.

It’s surface-level, and it’s why we find ourselves in this whole diet confused mess to begin with!

Why are so many people thinking this way?

Because they don’t want to look at WHY we eat the way we do.

At first glance, this approach is more difficult to practice, implement & coach (🙋🏻‍♀️), but that’s really only in the short-term.

Giving you numbers to hit and sending you on your merry way would make my job a HELL of a lot easier, but it wouldn’t change anything in any meaningful way.

It’s just the tip of the iceberg, when what you REALLY *need* (not want), is a complete transformation of your foundation!

💥A better understanding of your own preferences, goals, values, & body.

💥Exploration of what foods, habits & behaviors make you and your body come alive!

💥An individualized definition of health—you decide what that means.

💥Increased self-worth.

💥Stronger boundaries.

💥More tools to manage day-to-day stressors & emotions outside of food and controlling your body.

💥A realignment of your energy with your values (is your life truly fulfilling?).

💥Some damn respect for the vessel you’re experiencing life in.

Do these things take more time than following a set of macros or blindly adhering to a list of approved foods?

FUCK👏🏻 YES👏🏻

But these are the things that will make it so you don’t have to follow these things one year from now!

Stop being so willing to choose a “side” and turning your critical thinking skills off as a result.

You know SO much more than you think you do! You may just need some guidance on how to get there✨

Have a wonderful week, and remember that YOU are the one/thing/idea you've been waiting for!

If you don’t want to be standing in the exact same spot with food one year from now…

Then you have to stop seeking short-term gratification.

I know, I know—it feels so damn good (now) to watch the changes occur rapidly & to succumb to every whim!

But how has that worked for you thus far?

I’m guessing not well, or you wouldn’t be here😜

While *patience* may not be the sexiest word on the planet, it’s a HUGE sign of maturity. And it’s a requirement for a long-lasting, healthy relationship with food!

You have to be willing to sacrifice your desire for quick endorphin hits for deep & sustainable health—mentally & physically.

Make no mistake! If you’re consistently…

• Bouncing around from one extreme to the other (all-or-nothing)

• Obsessed with your tightly controlled & miserable routine.

• Eating a bunch of shit that doesn’t serve you all the time (YOLO)

• Refusing to look at your emotional state & are seeking escape.

• Focusing on your appearance at the expense of your mental & physical health…

You’re sacrificing your future self.

You’re letting your ego or monkey brain run the show instead of the real-mature-evolved-deeply-knowing you make the decisions.

What does patience (& maturity) look like?

• Developing a positive relationship with food BEFORE pursuing aesthetic goals.

• Learning skills to navigate discomfort outside of food, exercise & manipulating your body.

• Taking the time to understand WHY you interact with food & your body the way you do.

• Prioritizing physical health over aesthetic goals.

• Taking the time to learn about your own body, preferences, & goals rather than blindly following everyone else’s.

These outcomes are what everyone wants, but very few are willing to put in the work. To sacrifice child-like temptations (I get them too, big time!).

But I promise you—you’ll be SO DAMN HAPPY, PROUD, & EMPOWERED when you do!

A Statement From My Dad That Left Me SHOOK

“Your body is one of your greatest tools. Have fun with it!”

• Bill Golden, my dad

I was discussing my work with him a couple weeks ago, and as we mulled over body image, he candidly made the statement above.

It stopped me dead in my tracks.

So simple, yet so profound.

Also the perspective of someone who’s never struggled with any body image hang-ups.

Rain or shine, 20 lbs. up or down, he shows up as the exact same person.

He’s had goals to gain or lose weight as HE sees fit, but he’s never allowed any iteration of his body to deter him from showing up in this world.

We can discuss the differences in pressure that women are subjected to versus men, sure. Although men are absolutely not immune to similar pressures and side effects.

However, I believe it’s really important to seek the perspectives of those who *don’t* have body image hang-ups.

Engage in these discussions, seek alternative view-points, and get out of your own head.

You may be surprised at how differently you view the world and—just maybe—that beautiful vessel you’re experiencing this world in.

Now, let’s go have some fun with these bodies of ours, shall we?

You can find me playing in nature, in the gym, or in yoga class with mine!

What about you?

Is It Time for Your Workout Routine to Evolve?

Hiking over crossfit these days!

I'm currently on month number five with my break from Crossfit, and I continue to receive messages from women on Instagram about their fears of taking a step back from their intense regimens.

Are you allowing yourself—​and your exercise habits—​to evolve?✨

Or are you forcing them to stay the same, despite your body & mind telling you otherwise?✋

What worked for you then may not be working for you now.

At the very least, there's a chance it won’t in the future.

I learned this lesson the hard way last year when I had to take a step back from Crossfit.

I STRUGGLED with it.

It wasn’t used for weight management—it was used as performance/self-worth management (without knowing it at the time).

Whether you find yourself clinging to your detrimental workout routine to…

prove yourself via your performance

OR

to control your appearance

...it’s likely time for a break.🥴

Movement is something we’re designed to do (usually), and it should be a means of celebrating our bodies.

Of having FUN!💃

What to do if you’re showing up to the gym out of fear rather than love?

1. Take a break. I promise, you don’t die!

2. Focus on methods of moving that allow you to connect with your body. Things like yoga, dance, walking & slower weight training are great places to start.

Consider WHY you feel the need to run yourself into the ground & prove yourself.

Just as “it’s never about the food”, it’s also not about the exercise.❤️

What’s your fave way to move?

You SHOULD Step On the Scale!

Asking you to step on the scale is an unusual statement from someone who wants you to lessen your obsession with food, right?

Here's the deal.

The more you avoid the scale and refuse to look at the number on it, the more power it has over you.

It's akin to keeping your favorite foods out of the house.

Sure, you're in control in those circumstances, but what happens when you're around them? My guess is the scale or the food, because you haven't developed the SKILL--via practice--of managing your emotional responses to them.😣

I do fully appreciate and often support the images of women destroying their scales and tossing them into the garbage. It can be therapeutic AF! The feeling of severing a toxic relationship is 👏🏻 powerful! 👏🏻

However, I don’t believe it’s empowering in the long run.

Do you really want that number to have the power to control your mood and how you feel about yourself?

I sure don’t—which is why I made it a point to weigh myself.

In fact, I own a scale.

I haven’t stepped on it in I-don’t-know-how-long, but it served as a powerful tool for me to CHALLENGE my fear along my journey.

I didn’t want to go through life being afraid of (controlled) by that number, and I couldn't actually live a life of freedom if I was afraid of my own body's gravitational pull.

When I felt as though I gained weight, I made myself step on it and sit with the number. Sit with the potential discomfort.

Guess what happened?

💥Over time, my emotional attachment to the result lessened, and it’s now just a number!💥

I don’t hide from the results at the doctor’s office, and I don’t let it dictate how I feel about myself.

Think of your relationship with the scale like your relationship with someone who screwed you over in life.

At first, the distance is healing while you sort through your emotions. Over time, however, you want to be able to see that person and not be triggered, right?? Not for them, but for YOU!

The same goes for the scale.

This isn’t to say that your weight is relevant or useful in any way, as it’s often not! However, you have the ability to change the narrative.

Staring at that number without emotional attachment is a sure way to ensure you gain your power back.💃

Do you only allow yourself to pee at specific times?

Or take a 💩 according to your clock?

I would assume (and hope) not!

Yet, we do this with another one of our basic physical needs all the time—eating.

• Forcing down food according to meals plans and tracking apps.

• Forcing our bodies to endure extreme hunger until it’s “time” to eat again.

• Forcing our bodies to go to attempt to sleep while hungry, simply because our allotment for the day is up and it’s “past 8pm”.

We’ve managed to fuck up one of the most basic instincts we have as human beings!

It’s really not your fault though, as the vast majority of us were programmed to micromanage our food intake, appetites, and pleasure from a young age.

We watched older women complain about their bodies and restrict as a result.

We observed as others hopped from diet to diet, proclaiming foods as good and bad, right and wrong.

We were bombarded by magazines and latest celebrity diets as they dictated how often we should eat (is it six meals per day or should I intermittent fast?)

Oftentimes, we believe the path to freedom and healing from food obsession & disordered eating is to apply even more rules.

In most cases, it’s not. Far from it!

The answer is to get back to basics.

• To focus on recognizing those old thought patterns as they come and go while consciously choosing to rely on your body’s instincts instead (meditation for the win).

• To get back in touch with your own body’s hunger & fullness cues.

• To eat foods that make your body & mind feel alive, while also adding in foods that make your soul happy.

• To ensure you’re taking care of your mental & emotional well-being just as much as your physical.

When we break it down, it’s much more simple than we make it out to be.

We simply need to get out of our body’s way❤️