Can You Care About Your Aesthetics AND Have A Healthy Relationship With Food?

Ahhh, this question! It has led to quite the heated debates on the interwebs, and after much (years) of internal critical thinking, research, and unpacking of my own biases and past experiences, I believe the answer is YES!

This is 💯 perfectly acceptable AND possible!

It’s OK to want to look a certain way—we’re hardwired to care about this, and we’re expressing ourselves via our appearances ALL THE TIME!

However, before blindly following what everyone else is doing and tells you to do, consider…

✔️Digging into WHY you want to make these changes. Personal preference? Solely external influence? Shame or embarrassment? Performance?

✔️Do you accept yourself & your body fully NOW? If not, then making changes solely driven by appearance may not be the best move.

✔️Is your goal actually in alignment with your lifestyle, food & exercise preferences, and genetics? If not, then it’s likely not worth it.

✔️Do you have a solid, positive relationship with food & exercise, where they’re empowering and enjoyable? If not, nail that down first.

✔️Are you treating yourself with respect and compassion TODAY? If not, focus on that first.

✔️Whose opinions do you *actually* care about? The list should be REALLY fucking small, with yours at the top. And those people should care about how you treat yourself, not your appearance.

✔️ Are you fulfilled in other areas of your life, like relationships? If not, start there to ensure you're not using your body as a scapegoat.

A HUGE portion of what you’re targeting aesthetically will come naturally by treating yourself like you give a shit about yourself. 

From there, ask yourself if the rest is actually worth it to you!

This stuff is highly nuanced, so I highly recommend avoiding anyone who gives you a blanket, black & white response to this topic.

I always support my FFE ladies in whatever THEY want for themselves & their bodies, and I suggest you find a coach who does the same👏🏻

Are You Sure It's A Binge? Maybe You Just Overate Like Humans Do!

We love to label things and put them  in black and white categories, don’t we?!

jamie-matocinos-WAYY2WoGb8w-unsplash.jpg

This happens ALL THE TIME when it comes to describing a “binge”.

I’ve had several clients tell me they binged, only to realize after digging deeper that they simply ate a bigger portion size than they usually do!🙃

We all eat more than usual on occasion. This is NORMAL!

Not to mention, your “binge” could easily be someone’s “normal”. It’s all relative.

The goal of eating moderately isn’t to live with zen-like, puritanical eating standards without any deviations of your typical eats.

It’s OK to continue eating beyond the point of satisfaction at times!

I care far more about WHY you’re doing it.

  • Tired AF, sick, or hungover and trying to make yourself feel better? Completely understandable (and hormonally driven).

  • PMS’ing like a mofo? Makes sense!

  • The food is just soooo damn good? Yeah, we’re designed to like it!

Eating emotionally is also acceptable—there are FAR worse coping mechanisms you can employ!

The key is to be making the decision CONSCIOUSLY.

This tends to happen less & less frequently the more you master the moderate/intuitive eating game, but it’s still a part of life.

Don’t let your perfectionist tendencies make this out to be something bigger than it is!

  1. Acknowledge it

  2. Ask yourself how it did and didn’t serve you

  3. Consider what you can do differently next time (if anything)

  4. MOVE 👏🏻 ON 👏🏻

You didn’t binge.

You’re just a human!

Have you done this before?👇

The 2 Things That Separate the Successful from Unsuccessful

Throughout my tenure as a coach, I've been able to clearly define the biggest differentiators between my clients who experience massive transformations and those don’t reach their full potential.⁣

IMG_5479.JPG

Investing in oneself via coaching is a MASSIVE step in itself—one that many aren't courageous or bold enough to take.👏🏻

However, that's only the beginning of the work.

Making a change with something so integral to our lives like food requires gumption, commitment, self-awareness, and a whole slew of other commendable qualities.😍

Let's take a look at what separates the mega-successful from the average success story (which is still an amazing result that I'm committed to providing at a baseline).

This may very likely be true for you too, so now is a good time to take an honest inventory of where you fall!

⒈ Playing the long-game—if you’re still reaching for short-term results and are approaching your health, mindset, and/or weight with a sense of desperation, you won’t succeed in a meaningful way.⁣

I know you might be feeling uncomfortable—physically or mentally—but ACCEPTING the present is hugely important! Running from your situation NOW only leads to short-cuts. And that’s what got you here in the first place!⁣❌

Focus on one thing at a time, starting with your mindset & relationship with food. Get that locked down *tightly* first, and you can pursue your other goals later.

⒉ Willingness to be uncomfortable—change feels awkward for each & every one of us, at least to some degree. It’s part of our human nature!⁣

Being willing to act in spite of that discomfort is everything! Clinging to old patterns & rules might make you *feel* safe, but it’s only keeping you stuck.⁣😣

Making a change, especially one that involves something we interact with several times per day (FOOD!), requires a serious level of commitment. And to be frank, most people just aren't willing to put in the work required to see the change they want.

While these are simple, they aren’t always easy to implement. Another reason why the accountability & support of a coach is SO DAMN VALUABLE!

Don’t worry—I’ve got you:) The next round of Food Freedom Evolution (FFE), my 12-week transformational program that takes you from food obsessed to completely at ease with food starts in September!

If you're struggling with consistently moving that body of yours...

Untitled design (2).png

Let’s do a compete reframe with movement & exercise.

This is especially needed if you find yourself struggling with…

Being consistent. 

An all-or-nothing mentality.

In these cases, there is a fundamental lack of *true* respect for our bodies, and we’re MUCH too focused on the surface level bullshit.

No judgment, btw, as I’ve been sitting squarely in each category!🙋🏻‍♀️

The solution?

Consider the worst case scenario with your body—[this has to be something that would severely limit your ability to move to the extent you’re capable of today].

Sounds dark, but stay with me!🙃

For me, I’ve always feared becoming paralyzed and not having the ability to use my legs.

Whenever I find myself wanting to take the escalator, elevator, a short uber ride, or go to the gym, I imagine what it would feel like to *NOT* have the privilege of movement.

Because that’s exactly what it is: a privilege.

This doesn’t mean you that you go overboard with excessive exercise either, because that’s demonstrating a lack of respect for your body, too.

Start viewing your body as a gift for YOU to live this beautiful life in rather than a greeting card for others to look at & watch your relationship with exercise transform.

How are you respecting your body with movement today?

Why Making Changes with Your Food Behaviors is SO. DAMN. DIFFICULT!

Human behavior isn’t compartmentalized.

IMG_6031.JPG

That’s right.

The old adage of,

“How you do one thing is how you do everything.”,

really is true!

Especially when it comes to how you interact with food.

Some common examples:

  • The woman who lacks boundaries & is afraid to use her voice allows others to dictate her food choices. This means listening to others (diets, “gurus”, doctors, family, etc.) over her own body & preferences. She likely uses food to numb/soothe too!

  • The woman who needs to be liked by others & changes based on her surroundings eats & drinks what everyone else is eating & drinking.

  • The woman who’s afraid to step outside of the box with how she lives her life (can’t stray from the predetermined plan!) is sticking to the foods & routines she knows & is comfortable with.

  • The woman who believes she & her life are for others—not herself—is going to succumb to societal norms with food & body. Pleasing others is more important than being true to herself.

  • The woman whose energy is scattered, is moving at 100 mph, and is constantly seeking the next thrill eats quickly & without presence. 

  • The woman who is afraid of experiencing pleasure makes food choices that are often quite boring! She’s fearful of her own enjoyment.

There are endless possibilities here, but you can see that your relationship with food is a mirror for your relationship with SO MANY other facets of life!

Most importantly, your relationship with yourself.

Instead of *just* looking at food, how can you start to make adjustments with how you’re showing up in LIFE?

At first glance, this might seem like a much bigger mountain to climb, but it isn’t!

In fact, if you start focusing on your foundation (belief systems, relationship with self, relationship with life) rather than the surface, not only will the changes actually last, but they’ll be much easier to come by.

For today, just start with awareness. Start drawing those parallels between how you interact with food and the other areas of your life!

My Response to People Saying That More Freedom with Food Leads to Eating Donuts & Watching Netflix All Day

2.png

There's a common narrative today when it comes to a more "intuitive" way of eating (although I don't subscribe to "intuitive eating" in the way many do).

It usually goes something like this:

"Well, my intuition tells me to eat donuts and pizza and watch netflix every day, and it's what led me to gain weight in the first place."

I'm calling bullshit.

This way of thinking is just plain lazy.

It’s surface-level, and it’s why we find ourselves in this whole diet confused mess to begin with!

Why are so many people thinking this way?

Because they don’t want to look at WHY we eat the way we do.

At first glance, this approach is more difficult to practice, implement & coach (🙋🏻‍♀️), but that’s really only in the short-term.

Giving you numbers to hit and sending you on your merry way would make my job a HELL of a lot easier, but it wouldn’t change anything in any meaningful way.

It’s just the tip of the iceberg, when what you REALLY *need* (not want), is a complete transformation of your foundation!

💥A better understanding of your own preferences, goals, values, & body.

💥Exploration of what foods, habits & behaviors make you and your body come alive!

💥An individualized definition of health—you decide what that means.

💥Increased self-worth.

💥Stronger boundaries.

💥More tools to manage day-to-day stressors & emotions outside of food and controlling your body.

💥A realignment of your energy with your values (is your life truly fulfilling?).

💥Some damn respect for the vessel you’re experiencing life in.

Do these things take more time than following a set of macros or blindly adhering to a list of approved foods?

FUCK👏🏻 YES👏🏻

But these are the things that will make it so you don’t have to follow these things one year from now!

Stop being so willing to choose a “side” and turning your critical thinking skills off as a result.

You know SO much more than you think you do! You may just need some guidance on how to get there✨

Have a wonderful week, and remember that YOU are the one/thing/idea you've been waiting for!

If you don’t want to be standing in the exact same spot with food one year from now…

Untitled design (1).png

Then you have to stop seeking short-term gratification.

I know, I know—it feels so damn good (now) to watch the changes occur rapidly & to succumb to every whim!

But how has that worked for you thus far?

I’m guessing not well, or you wouldn’t be here😜

While *patience* may not be the sexiest word on the planet, it’s a HUGE sign of maturity. And it’s a requirement for a long-lasting, healthy relationship with food!

You have to be willing to sacrifice your desire for quick endorphin hits for deep & sustainable health—mentally & physically.

Make no mistake! If you’re consistently…

  • Bouncing around from one extreme to the other (all-or-nothing)

  • Obsessed with your tightly controlled & miserable routine.

  • Eating a bunch of shit that doesn’t serve you all the time (YOLO)

  • Refusing to look at your emotional state & are seeking escape.

  • Focusing on your appearance at the expense of your mental & physical health…

You’re sacrificing your future self.

You’re letting your ego or monkey brain run the show instead of the real-mature-evolved-deeply-knowing you make the decisions.

What does patience (& maturity) look like?

  • Developing a positive relationship with food BEFORE pursuing aesthetic goals.

  • Learning skills to navigate discomfort outside of food, exercise & manipulating your body.

  • Taking the time to understand WHY you interact with food & your body the way you do.

  • Prioritizing physical health over aesthetic goals.

  • Taking the time to learn about your own body, preferences, & goals rather than blindly following everyone else’s.

These outcomes are what everyone wants, but very few are willing to put in the work. To sacrifice child-like temptations (I get them too, big time!).

But I promise you—you’ll be SO DAMN HAPPY, PROUD, & EMPOWERED when you do!