A Statement From My Dad That Left Me SHOOK

“Your body is one of your greatest tools. Have fun with it!”

• Bill Golden, my dad

I was discussing my work with him a couple weeks ago, and as we mulled over body image, he candidly made the statement above.

It stopped me dead in my tracks.

So simple, yet so profound.

Also the perspective of someone who’s never struggled with any body image hang-ups.

Rain or shine, 20 lbs. up or down, he shows up as the exact same person.

He’s had goals to gain or lose weight as HE sees fit, but he’s never allowed any iteration of his body to deter him from showing up in this world.

We can discuss the differences in pressure that women are subjected to versus men, sure. Although men are absolutely not immune to similar pressures and side effects.

However, I believe it’s really important to seek the perspectives of those who *don’t* have body image hang-ups.

Engage in these discussions, seek alternative view-points, and get out of your own head.

You may be surprised at how differently you view the world and—just maybe—that beautiful vessel you’re experiencing this world in.

Now, let’s go have some fun with these bodies of ours, shall we?

You can find me playing in nature, in the gym, or in yoga class with mine!

What about you?

Is It Time for Your Workout Routine to Evolve?

Hiking over crossfit these days!

I'm currently on month number five with my break from Crossfit, and I continue to receive messages from women on Instagram about their fears of taking a step back from their intense regimens.

Are you allowing yourself—​and your exercise habits—​to evolve?✨

Or are you forcing them to stay the same, despite your body & mind telling you otherwise?✋

What worked for you then may not be working for you now.

At the very least, there's a chance it won’t in the future.

I learned this lesson the hard way last year when I had to take a step back from Crossfit.

I STRUGGLED with it.

It wasn’t used for weight management—it was used as performance/self-worth management (without knowing it at the time).

Whether you find yourself clinging to your detrimental workout routine to…

prove yourself via your performance

OR

to control your appearance

...it’s likely time for a break.🥴

Movement is something we’re designed to do (usually), and it should be a means of celebrating our bodies.

Of having FUN!💃

What to do if you’re showing up to the gym out of fear rather than love?

1. Take a break. I promise, you don’t die!

2. Focus on methods of moving that allow you to connect with your body. Things like yoga, dance, walking & slower weight training are great places to start.

Consider WHY you feel the need to run yourself into the ground & prove yourself.

Just as “it’s never about the food”, it’s also not about the exercise.❤️

What’s your fave way to move?

You SHOULD Step On the Scale!

Asking you to step on the scale is an unusual statement from someone who wants you to lessen your obsession with food, right?

Here's the deal.

The more you avoid the scale and refuse to look at the number on it, the more power it has over you.

It's akin to keeping your favorite foods out of the house.

Sure, you're in control in those circumstances, but what happens when you're around them? My guess is the scale or the food, because you haven't developed the SKILL--via practice--of managing your emotional responses to them.😣

I do fully appreciate and often support the images of women destroying their scales and tossing them into the garbage. It can be therapeutic AF! The feeling of severing a toxic relationship is 👏🏻 powerful! 👏🏻

However, I don’t believe it’s empowering in the long run.

Do you really want that number to have the power to control your mood and how you feel about yourself?

I sure don’t—which is why I made it a point to weigh myself.

In fact, I own a scale.

I haven’t stepped on it in I-don’t-know-how-long, but it served as a powerful tool for me to CHALLENGE my fear along my journey.

I didn’t want to go through life being afraid of (controlled) by that number, and I couldn't actually live a life of freedom if I was afraid of my own body's gravitational pull.

When I felt as though I gained weight, I made myself step on it and sit with the number. Sit with the potential discomfort.

Guess what happened?

💥Over time, my emotional attachment to the result lessened, and it’s now just a number!💥

I don’t hide from the results at the doctor’s office, and I don’t let it dictate how I feel about myself.

Think of your relationship with the scale like your relationship with someone who screwed you over in life.

At first, the distance is healing while you sort through your emotions. Over time, however, you want to be able to see that person and not be triggered, right?? Not for them, but for YOU!

The same goes for the scale.

This isn’t to say that your weight is relevant or useful in any way, as it’s often not! However, you have the ability to change the narrative.

Staring at that number without emotional attachment is a sure way to ensure you gain your power back.💃

Do you only allow yourself to pee at specific times?

Or take a 💩 according to your clock?

I would assume (and hope) not!

Yet, we do this with another one of our basic physical needs all the time—eating.

• Forcing down food according to meals plans and tracking apps.

• Forcing our bodies to endure extreme hunger until it’s “time” to eat again.

• Forcing our bodies to go to attempt to sleep while hungry, simply because our allotment for the day is up and it’s “past 8pm”.

We’ve managed to fuck up one of the most basic instincts we have as human beings!

It’s really not your fault though, as the vast majority of us were programmed to micromanage our food intake, appetites, and pleasure from a young age.

We watched older women complain about their bodies and restrict as a result.

We observed as others hopped from diet to diet, proclaiming foods as good and bad, right and wrong.

We were bombarded by magazines and latest celebrity diets as they dictated how often we should eat (is it six meals per day or should I intermittent fast?)

Oftentimes, we believe the path to freedom and healing from food obsession & disordered eating is to apply even more rules.

In most cases, it’s not. Far from it!

The answer is to get back to basics.

• To focus on recognizing those old thought patterns as they come and go while consciously choosing to rely on your body’s instincts instead (meditation for the win).

• To get back in touch with your own body’s hunger & fullness cues.

• To eat foods that make your body & mind feel alive, while also adding in foods that make your soul happy.

• To ensure you’re taking care of your mental & emotional well-being just as much as your physical.

When we break it down, it’s much more simple than we make it out to be.

We simply need to get out of our body’s way❤️

What Kind of Eater Are You? And why it's vitally important to understand this

If you've ever struggled to identify WHY you just can't seem to navigate your relationship with food and your body, then chances are, you have a blindspot with understanding YOU.

What does your own self-understanding have to do with you and food?

Everything!

In essence, your relationship with food is an extension of your relationship with yourself.

My clients typically fall into one of the following categories (with occasional overlap):

1. Controlled - hyper aware and vigilant about following a set of rules, including macros, good vs. bad food lists, and she may have orthorexic tendencies (i.e. only eat “healthy” foods). Very unlikely to deviate from her plan and regimen.

2. Yo-Yo Dieter - “all-or-nothing” perfectionist tendencies where she's doing ALL the things or NONE of them. Often includes the binge and restrict cycle.

3. Emotional Eater - binges or eats things she doesn't *truly* want to eat due to a lack of other coping skills for life’s ups & downs. This often means periods of feeling aligned and free followed by periods of confusion and frustration (even within the same day).

4. Appearance-focused - doesn’t really care about health; only weight. Will eat or drink anything, as long as her body still looks the way she wants it to.

I can identify which category a woman falls into by simply observing the way a woman lives her life.

After all, the ways in which we live our lives are a reflection of how we view & value ourselves.

• People pleaser? You likely have a lack of boundaries, so you have a hard time making choices that align in your best interests and eat out of comfort. You're simply trying to find fulfillment after taking care of everyone BUT you.

• High Achiever? You likely put your health on the back burner and are only focused on the end result of whatever you're working towards. This either means eating for "reward" after a long day OR overly restricting in pursuit of achievement.

• Acting as the social chameleon and changing who you are based on your audience? You're likely unsure of yourself and WHO you really are internally, so you're hyper-focused on your appearance. This means focusing on your weight and body composition above all else.

• Procrastinator? A hallmark trait of perfectionists. Better to have never tried than to try and fail right? This means engaging in all-or-nothing eating behaviors. Baby steps are for babies with this mindset!

The beautiful thing about looking at your relationship with food in this way is that is illustrates how the issue isn't the food.

Therefore, it isn't anything to be fearful of!

Food has simply become the scapegoat for the deeper calling of misalignment of self-worth.

Identify where you're seeking validation and importance in your life, and you'll begin to unravel your narrative!

Feel Like You're Wrong with Any Move You Make with Food & Your Body?

Girl, I feel you!

The health & wellness industry has always been divisive, but it feels particularly edgy at the moment.

Women feel so conflicted, confused, and many are experiencing a lot of SHAME over any desires they have for themselves.

• Eating donuts? That’s unhealthy, shame.

• Eating salads? That’s restrictive, shame.

• Wanting to gain muscle? That’s not “feminine”, shame.

• Wanting to lose weight? You must not love yourself, shame.

I’m all for having differing opinions, but shaming over how someone treats their OWN body is taking it too far.

As per usual, we’re losing sight of what really matters & are tossing nuance out the window.

The ultimate goal for my clients is for them to really give AF about how they’re treating themselves (in order)…

1. Internally—relationship with food, internal chatter & mental health.

2. Physically—making choices in alignment with high self-worth & self-respect, whatever that looks like.

3. Other goals—aesthetic or performance.

If someone has the first two down pat, then by all means, proceed with the third!

The problem arises when we place the third above the other two, and that’s EXACTLY where most of my clients are.

Caring more about the way their body looks to others than how they’re treating themselves—mind, body, soul.

I used to be there too! And it’s a problem.

The issue isn’t the desire to lose weight, it’s the intention behind it. It’s placing it higher than your mental and physical well-being. It’s believing your happiness & self-worth lies on the other side.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

That’s an inside job, sisters.

Do the work of up-leveling your sense of self-worth and treating yourself accordingly FIRST, and the rest falls into place.

So You Overdid it This Weekend? This Is What You Should Do!

So you overdid it with food or booze & feel like shit?

Your mind might be swirling with thoughts of guilt, shame, and how you’re going to undo the damage.

That’s coming from a place of pure FEAR.

And low self-worth!

Instead of shaming yourself into change and feeling better, let’s flip the script!

Ask yourself:

✨“How can I support myself—mind, body, soul—in this moment?”✨

That might look like:

• Eating foods that are nourishing and easy to digest when you feel physical hunger.

• Engaging in light activity to get your body moving.

• Drinking water and replenishing electrolytes (NUUN tablets are a fave of mine!)

• Deep breathing or meditation to calm your nervous system (especially true after drinking alcohol).

• Writing down everything your body is doing to support YOU in this moment. It’s likely working on overdrive, so it deserves serious kudos!

• Engaging in self-care activities, like creative pursuits or time with loved ones.

See the difference?

Choices rooted in respecting & supporting yourself will create a positive feedback loop—leading to better decisions in the future.

Not to mention, the process is a hell of a lot more enjoyable when you actually act like you give a damn about yourself along the way!

What are you doing to support yourself today?